Pros
* Outstanding employee exercise program * Excellent source of job experience * Equal opportunity employer * Source of deep personal pride and confidence * Unparalleled opportunity for upward mobility for the developmentally disabled and psychologically unstable * Great way to see exotic, beautiful places, and travel extensively, usually at no cost to employee * Extra compensation for services rendered in hostile locations * All-expenses paid wardrobe and equipment * Free injections of exotic, rare, and lethal third-world diseases * Best-in-business method for developing efficient alcoholism
Cons
* Training 100% irrelevant to actual occupation * Most equipment is from Vietnam era, if available * Personal merit and competence has almost nothing to do with promotability * Likelihood of being injured by customers is very high * Financial compensation often mysteriously "misplaced" by payroll and must be requested * Employees' blood often mysteriously "misplaced" by medical and must be drawn multiple times * Very difficult to build rapport with those familiar with but not employed by this company * Future employers averse to former employees of this company due to unwarranted expectations of insanity and latent homicidal urges * Coworkers and senior management religiously espouse but often do not follow company ethos