Why FM Global Might Be Your Ideal Workplace - Anonymous employee FM Employee Review

1. Positional Power: If you’re at least a VP (or sometimes an SVP) and appreciate aligning with the CEO’s vision, FM Global could be your match. It’s all about following the top brass, even when it primarily benefits them. 2. Rules and Tradition: Enjoy adhering to both written and unwritten rules? FM Global’s got you covered. Ancient policies? They’ve got those too. No need to worry about your thoughts being considered—just follow the playbook. 3. Incompetent Managers: High-level managers with egos? Look no further! FM Global’s got a collection of them. Their incompetence? Well, that’s just part of the charm. 4. Cafeteria Cuisine: If reasonably priced cafeteria food is your jam, FM Global’s cafeterias are pretty good. 5. Hierarchy and Dictatorship: Who needs consensus? FM Global’s strong hierarchy ensures decisions flow from the top down. It’s like a corporate monarchy—efficient, right? 6. Work-Life Balance: FM Global believes work should be your first family. Your actual family? They can wait. Priorities, people! 7. Perfection: If you’ve never made a mistake (ever), FM Global is your haven. Imperfections? Not on their watch! 8. DEI Team: Perception matters, right? FM Global’s got a DEI team for show. Actual impact? Well, that’s debatable. (Don’t get me wrong. The DEI team is great. The people who need to role model inclusiveness and equity don't actually care.) 9. Excel Enthusiasts: Spreadsheets are life. Love Excel? FM Global’s slow-and-steady approach will make your heart skip a beat. 10. Patience: Wait a year for decisions? Sure! Even if you knew the answer in five minutes. It’s all about the journey, not the destination. 11. Well-Being: Who needs personal time? Well-being happens when FM Global says so. Self-care? Overrated. 12. Lifelong Loyalty: If you’re a straight, white male who’s been there since birth (or close to it), FM Global’s your family and will take care of you even better when you retire. 13. Micromanagement: It’s not hovering; it’s caring. FM Global’s micromanagers are your personal cheerleaders. 14. Socializing: Lower-level folks? Nah. FM Global’s elite don’t mix with the plebs. Elevator small talk? Beneath them. 15. Gaslighting Connoisseurs: Appreciate a good gaslighting session? FM Global’s experts will leave you questioning your sanity.