Should I offer to split the bill on dates? A lot of my friends say they don’t offer when it’s dinner. I don’t want to be with someone who would take me up on splitting anyways but I’m trying to be polite?
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I took a two-year career break after being laid off in early 2024 to focus on my mental and physical health. I’ve worked hard to get my life back on track and feel ready to return to tech. But the job market has me wondering if I’ve hurt my career by stepping away for so long. As a woman in tech, the anxiety is getting to me. I know I don’t want to be a housewife, I want to get back to work and rebuild my career. Did I mess up my future, or can I still make a comeback?
Dont offer if you dont mean it.. but keep in mind that many guys nowadays also may lose interest if their date doesnt offer to split
Am I the only F that truly doesn’t mind splitting? We’re equals, why should he have to pay every time?
No I’m the same way. When I first started dating my now husband, I always insisted we split, its only fair. He agreed that we’ll just take turns and that’s how we approached all of our dates :)
Woman here, I always offer to split or get the next date. It’s entitled, childish, and really unattractive to assume your date will pay for you like you’re a little girl with no job or responsibilities. It’s sweet to switch off and treat each other unless you prefer to live like some sort of old-timey prostitute.
Whoever extends the invitation pays. Rather than splitting, offer to plan the next one.
This
Depends on your local culture and your gender. As a guy I usually take care of it but I judge women who don’t offer to split if given the chance, or who seem entitled. It’s not about the money, it’s about what it says about your approach to relationships.
What?
If it’s a breaking point for you, I would offer just to see the response and get it out of the way. If it’s a yes then you know not to waste your time on him.
Pay for me baby 🤣
Why do y’all (women) play this mind game?
RSM 1 … “y’all” as in the women on this post that agree with such a chaotic way of dating. You and the rest of the more rational women out there are blessings.
Don't always let her pay everything
I don’t want to offer I just want to sit there like all my friends do but I don’t want to be impolite lol
Expecting someone else to pay for everything for you in exchange for apparently nothing more than the pleasure of your company isn’t going to be polite regardless of how you do it. You’re outside the bounds of politeness already, so why not just tell your date up front that you expect them to pay? That way they don’t waste any time on you if they are looking for a woman that will equally contribute to the relationship.
I am a woman and I always offered to split. It’s 2023, and I make my own money. I can split the bill. The only caveat would be if he picked an expensive restaurant or ordered really expensive menu items and I didn’t.
We went on a first date I said let’s split he said that’s okay we can split moving forward. I really like him but I want to tell him you should be paying for dinners… I’ll pick up smaller things. I want to be with someone who can provide for me
Coming from a place of care: Why did you ask to split the bill if that was not what you wanted? - I would let a man show you who is he is on a first date. Don’t pretend to reach for the purse. I presume he asked you out and wanted to show you a nice time and genuinely wanted to see you have a nice time? If your expectation for your future husband is to be a provider (and of course you would contribute in certain ways as well) than that is your expectation and there are plenty of men out there that will make sure the bill is paid. You do not need to shift those expectations, you just need to be picking men who meet what it is you envision for your future. Godforbid you need to step back from work in the future to have kids. Knowing you have someone who can provide is comforting. Now, of course down the road, if there is a restaurant or place you really want to show him and you are so excited to show him a good time, please go ahead and pay for the date.
If you’re a woman I always suggest offering to split on the first date (neither of you know if it’s going to work out and you are both taking the time to try a first date to see if you are compatible). If it’s not the first date, then whoever initiated/planned the date should make the first offer to pay.
F here, for a first date, I offer to split when the date is not going well, if the date is going well, then I offer to pay for dessert or drinks after.
Why do women work if they’re not trying to be equal financial partners? Like what’s the point of the feminist movement? It wasn’t to create people like this.
Eh I work because if I didn’t I’d be homeless. Personally I wouldn’t mind being a stay at home mom but I’ve still haven’t found the guy. I think the one good thing the movement gave was the ability for women to support themselves and remove themselves/kids from abusive situations
Honestly, it depends on what kind of guy you want. If you want an egalitarian, split housework 50/50 and both work type of relationship long term, then that type of guy will want to split. If you want the relationship to be more traditional (woman does more housework and has a lower stress job or is a SAHM, man provides and maybe cooks or cleans on vacation), then you want guys who want to pay. I’m a man in the latter camp, and would not have considered splitting, lol, but it’s a package deal.
I used to only offer splits on dates I really enjoyed. My logic was that a man with a good personality should only have to pay half as much as a man with a not so great personality 😂
I’d appreciate if my date asked to split the smaller things like drinks before or icecream after. Just the thought plays more significance than $ value
Just offer. Believe me when you’re looking for a traditional guy they won’t let you pay. If you’re not looking for a traditional guy but want him to pay then idk what to tell you. W.e your values/beliefs are id communicate them during the date so by the time the bill comes, if he’s listened or is interested he’ll pay. But to add. If you’re not interested in a following date with the guy just pay for your portion. The reason I say this is you want to avoid confrontation when he’s expecting something from you.
No, you shouldn’t